I Got Caught In a Thought Tornado

Here is the system I used to get out of it

Have you ever had one of those days where one small event turns into a full blown meltdown? The end of last week was such a time for me. One comment made by someone in my inner circle led me to question everything I do. I unknowingly and quickly made their business my own. One comment made me think that every choice I was making for myself didn’t make anyone else happy—cue rumination.

I know what you’re thinking. She is supposed to be the coach. You’re right. So let me tell you the issues with that line of thinking. First, it is NOT my business to make anyone else happy because I don’t have that kind of power. Second, if someone has a conflict with the healthy boundaries I’ve set for myself, that is also NOT my business.

Nonetheless, this human experience can be tricky, and even I find myself not leading with my best self on occasion. Whether it was my perimenopause hormones leading the way, causing emotional deregulation, or something else entirely, I found myself deep in everyone else’s business.

My thought tornado affected the rest of my day. My mind only looked for what was going wrong instead of seeing all the evidence of the opposite. I could be in control; I was unconsciously choosing not to be. I was the cause of my own suffering, but I couldn’t see past myself.

The problem with spiraling negative thoughts is that they snowball fast. The inner critic keeps you in a cycle of self-doubt and worst-case scenarios. You become overwhelmed, and your confidence is quickly robbed, and that’s where I found myself Saturday morning. Knowing I needed to shift back into my business.

Is there a way to pull yourself out of the force of negative thinking? Yes! Here is what I did to throw myself a life raft and what you can do the next time you find yourself in the same predicament.

1. Awareness
   
   First, ask what story you are telling yourself. Is this actually true or have you, in some way, catastrophized it?

2. Challenge your thoughts 
   
   Is there any truth in the inner critic or is it fear talking? Sometimes, fear shows up to protect us, but we don’t always need protection. Is there another way to look at the situation?

3. Find your evidence
   
   Find proof of things that are actually true. What strengths do you bring to the situation? How have you been successful in the past?

4. Mind your words
   
   Words are powerful and have an incredible influence on your confidence. Instead of saying something like I will never be successful, flip it to I have been successful before, and I can be again. Or I will give it my best, I have a lot to offer.

5. Stay in the circle of control
   
   So often what you ruminate on the most is outside of your control. Action stops overthinking. Do something, no matter how small, that is within your control.

Reframing your thoughts pulls you out of the negative spiral, allowing you to step back into your power. It leads you back to your confidence and builds your resilience.

After I walked myself through this process, I found most of my thoughts were fear based. I had no actual evidence that anything my inner critic was saying was true. I flipped the words and started with something I could control -regulating my nervous system. Not only did I find peace, I stepped back into my confidence.

Let’s work together to rewrite the stories holding you back.  Let's Talk

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