Is Your Confidence Really Gone?
While waiting for my flight home last week, I watched a child navigate the new world of walking. She would stand, find her balance, wobble a bit, take a step or two, and then fall. Over and over. She had pure determination to walk, even when her mother had another agenda. She did not want to be confined.
As I watched her, I thought about how beautiful it is that we are born with a consciousness of our own power. She fell, got back up, and tried again without ever questioning if she was “good enough” to walk. Self-doubt doesn’t exist at that age.
Imagine an adult doing something outside of her comfort zone, such as walking for the first time. The inner critic would have a field day with her confidence, eliciting fear and imposter syndrome and oftentimes leading us to feel stuck.
How do we go from pure determination with no self-doubt to second guessing ourselves? What happens to our confidence?
I’m sorry to say our confidence is dimmed at an early age. As children, we begin to absorb messages from our parents, caretakers, friends, and culture. If we are repeatedly told we are too much or not enough, we begin to internalize self-doubt. Confidence thrives in spaces where we feel emotionally safe to be ourselves. If you grew up in an unsupportive environment, your confidence has been hampered.
Then our teenage years roll around, and we start looking to fit in even more, so fear of judgment creeps in. The more we prioritize external validation, the more we second-guess ourselves.
All the while, we catalog more life experiences, and our minds do this wicked thing by comparing any new experience with our past failures and setbacks. Then, not to mention we live in a comparison culture with the dawn of social media, and instead of trusting ourselves, we measure our worth against others.
Phew! No wonder I see so many women with confidence issues! But the good news is that by unlearning old conditioning and challenging the inner critic, you easily find your way back to the confidence you were born with.
Confidence isn’t something you have or you don’t.
It’s conditioned out of us.
You have the choice to get it back!
The little girl in the airport is the perfect example of how to regain your confidence. First, you have to start with courage. Courage is what allows you to take that first step even when you feel doubt, fear, or imposter syndrome.
After you mustered the courage, you take action. This is the phase where you learn and gather experience. Each attempt in the discomfort zone teaches you something new.
It is from courage and action that you gain confidence. It isn’t a starting point; it’s an outcome. So the next time you find yourself struggling to take a step forward because of fear, channel your inner toddler, find courage, and take action.
Courage + Action = Confidence
From My Desk
I’ve been busy at work this winter finding ways to serve you better. I was having this internal pull to create a coaching program that made more sense and resonated with your needs with a framework that is comprehensive and easy to apply to busy lives. If you genuinely want to see change this year, I can help! I’m excited to share these new offerings.
The Clarity Code
A three week kickstart to give you the tools to trust yourself, set boundaries, and shift your mindset—fast.
The Confidence Revolution
A transformational coaching experience designed to help you break through limiting beliefs, set powerful boundaries, and step into unshakable confidence. With this 12 week program, you'll gain the tools to rewrite your story and create a life you love.
Equus Coaching
A powerful, experiential coaching method where horses act as mirrors to help you gain self-awareness, build confidence, and develop deeper emotional intelligence, offering immediate, honest feedback that accelerates personal growth.